Drafting A Battle Plan

I finally worked out a site kink that was bugging the heck out of me since the other day when I returned as a prodigal son to this dusty niche of mine that I left so many moons ago. Now that it’s fixed, there’s no need for you to know any more than that I fixed it. And that I’m terribly persnickety about little presentation details.

Now, the real first paragraph to this entry.

My dear friends, there is so much I wish to tell you. Almost daily do my cognitive wanderings stumble across some minor revelation or pretty collection of words that I consider worthy of being scribbled down or punched into a memo on my cell phone for later extraction and expansion (or, failing that, dissection). It seems that the best thoughts always come when I’m in the absolute worst place to record them, such as the shower or running along the river listening to my iPod.

As the patterns of creation would have it, when I do get around to writing, whether it be here or in my TextEdit journal or, gasp, a Facebook note, it seems I just cannot muster up the same creative reverie. This reality irks me to no end. I don’t consider it to be insurmountable. I’ve just been too lazy to devote myself to regular writing sessions that would loosen my fingers, mind, and the gates upon that lofty fortress called Inspiration. I also haven’t been reading enough – so there you have it, I’ve been on a steady diet of junk and I haven’t been exercising. It’s no wonder the fortress is barred, walled, moated, and gated – I’ve chained its gates myself.

These obstacles shall not be demolished within a night, but I shall set to work tonight, turning fully around immediately after tying the knot to tearing it apart, to break these chains, to splay these gates aside, to swim the moat (for there are no bridges on the way back to finding one’s soul – they were all burned on the way out), to scale these formidable walls, and finally, to tear away the solid bars.

“My name is Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”

I will be great one day. There are nights when I cannot sleep for excitement over what the future holds. “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”,”Be all you can be”; these and others like them, though I hardly know whence they came, await my fulfilling them.

But I’ve gone too far without proper disclaim; some may have already thrown this, in whatever form it has taken, down in disgust. You must, must, absolutely must understand that these are lines from my inner dialogue, which takes a considerably different form from outward conversations. It would be ridiculous to have the same sort of interaction with ourselves that we have with other individuals. Similarly, what we say to ourselves can rarely be reproduced outwardly for the intake of others.

The conversations between the past me, the present me, and the somewhat taciturn future me are indeed a strange thing to delineate verbally. To put a simple cap on further nonsensical rambling, let me just say that there are things I’ve promised myself that I shall not hold back, or hold back from. That much I know, as well as just how difficult it will be to get there.

Speaking of the past me, we’ve had a reconciliation as of late. I always thought I disliked him until I returned to this, yes, blog, recently (I’d fear that you might take that statement narcissistically, but I suspect I’ve already trespassed leaps and bounds beyond any such threshold). I enjoyed reading my old posts. I get a kick out of my humor. Yes, I do, which may be lame to the world, but it secures my survival should I ever be sentenced to solitary confinement. On an island or in a jail cell, that far outweighs worldly repute.

I realized that my chief offense was not verbosity, however much of an offense this may be, it was silence; not silence due to meditation, but silence caused by distraction and intellectual inactivity. The cosmos that ruled my soul in times of true production was swept aside by clamor – chaos that shut down the cogs of whispered expression.

So here I am, fueled by desperation, determined to reinvigorate the discussion between me, myself, and I, and not they, the now and fleeting, but they, the ancients.

And of course, this, as always, is my raw brainstorming and the makings of eventual source material for my letter to the world – nothing new, but ever so important, for “every grand question has to be argued afresh in every generation.”

Yours truly,

-Brad

Blog Formative Years

As always, I’ve been perusing our dear Internet for ideas on how to improve this place’s visibility and appeal. My findings were quite useful, probably because I’m such a noob that nearly anyone’s advice is more than I already know. Check out this neat quote I found:

“Blogs are often too internally focused and ignore key usability issues, making it hard for new readers to understand the site and trust the author.” -Jakob Nielsen

This is the summary of an article on the top ten weblog design mistakes. I’ll interact with several of those points here, but you can click the link if you want it ‘from the horse’s mouth’. As they say. Sounds kind of offensive to me. Some of the points, while valid, were ones I chose to ignore because I’m not running a professional blog. I have strong preferences too, and where better to exercise them than on my own website? But I do care about you too. How can I serve you?

The first mistake was a lack of author biography on many blogs. Which I’m guilty of. I’ve been meaning to update that, so I’ll do that now. I’m supposed to write something that will get you to trust me – my expertise and my sincerity. My natural instinct is to let the writing speak for itself, but I guess it makes sense that you would want to know more about where I’m coming from.

I’m going to take a rain check on the author photo, however (I don’t understand that idiom either, could someone who runs a blog explaining such things enlighten me? I’m too lazy to Google it. My, my). I prefer to let your imaginations roam freely, but I will start you off by disclosing that I have brown hair. Do I have a peg leg? Is my hair naturally brown or just dyed currently? Am I Asian? Indian? Hmm…stick around.

Apparently my titles are inadequate. They’re too cute and humorous (aw, thanks for saying I’m funny! See, what you don’t understand is that I’m practically a prostitute for humor permeation. An out-of-business prostitute, ugh). Titles should be far more informational, for they’re the most valuable words I type. People on average only read the first three or four words of a title, according to the article. And they don’t want to be messed with. I think I may politely decline on this point too, however. I like my titles. I’ll count on the tags to pull you guys in.

I haven’t done too much with links yet (although you’ll notice an increase already in this article), but because I plan to this next warning is also useful. I need to be clear about where my links lead. I like this line: “Life is too short to click on an unknown.” How true. And yet not…one could argue that life is too short to only click on what you know. Those “life is too short” arguments are typically fallen. But point taken. I think I’ve been doing a decent job; you’ll find on my title page that I explain the difference between clicking on the tabs at the top and clicking on the categories list to the right. I also detail how to subscribe to the RSS feed, because up until recently I myself did not know about this feature and its capabilities [ooh, actually I recently took the explanation down because I thought people could figure it out for themselves. 3/11/10]. Even now that I know about it and use it to keep up with the news (in theory), I’m terrible about checking it. I’m sure you’re more diligent, so to be added to your subscription list would truly be an honor.

Good reminder to keep my most popular posts accessible, so new readers can get the best first, and also to link to other posts from entries that reference them, so readers can get the whole picture. Obvious stuff, but like I said, I’m a noob. I’m also completely guilty as charged of “mixing topics”. But I did tell you in my disclaimer that I wouldn’t keep these linear. I will completely knowingly wander around a bit, or a lot. I want to, so like always, the desire will trump the logic. I hope you’re okay with that. If you ask nicely, I could write a really focused post on a topic of your choice.

Here’s a helpful hint for Mac users: When clicking on links, hold down the command key to open that link in a new tab so you don’t lose the original article. There’s no telling how long a simple ‘Back’ function will take. If you have a PC, I’m sure there’s some equivalent. I’m not a hater, I used Windows for eighteen years of my life. Yes, I was using a computer from the day I was born, yes.

Mixed topics are, at present, a characteristic of this blog. You get a little of everything. I have been told it makes the entries seem more ‘real’. You may think differently. Never fear, I plan to diversify. At least I’m not putting posts in numerous categories. I would not have thought that anyone would be guilty of that, but there wouldn’t be a warning if there weren’t the mistake, right?

Funny story: I was at the contract-signing for my new job (English teacher, detailed here) and as we were going through the contract, the staff member mentioned that every clause in the document is there because some past employee has attempted said activity. That’s hilarious, considering how comprehensive the contract was. For example, I’m required to wear a dark suit to work. “It doesn’t have to be black – it could be navy, or dark ash…we just ask that you don’t show up looking like a pimp.” Haha. I would’ve liked to see that. Maybe not a funny story? Okay. Mediocre recollection of an amusing occurrence.

I’m supposed to write like my future boss will read this. Or my future wife (that wasn’t in the article but I think it goes right along with boss and might be even more worthy of consideration). I understand that. But I take it with a grain of salt. The chances that either of them will ever view this is quite low at present. The chances that they’ll be offended is significantly lower. I tend to think I’m a naturally inoffensive guy, except to easily-offended people. But on the other hand, I can never know what someone will take issue with. I do have strong opinions. You can call me out if you want. We can talk.

And finally, having a domain name owned by someone else. Yes, WordPress. I’m alright with that. Sure, it screams newbie. I’m not doing this for a living; I don’t consider it worth paying any money for just yet. At least WordPress is better than Geocities. What the heck is a Geocity.

Those are the top ten weblog mistakes I found, as told by Mr. Nielsen. I’m sure there are many more I’m committing as we speak (merely an expression used here for endearment). Ah well. Live and learn. Live and earn.

Before when I was in the bathroom I had a great idea for a new wing I could add to this building. I’m really excited about it, so maybe it’ll already be started by the time you read this. I’m thinking about calling it ‘Introductions’ [a.k.a ‘Links’. 3/11/10].

Nice to meet you.

-Brad