Letter Home (SHINE Competition Entry)

[This is something I whipped up for some international student competition a few months ago I wasn’t planning on entering but at the last minute decided to have a go at. Didn’t win anything in the end, but it was fun to write. Thanks to all of you who tell me my stories are entertaining, whether they actually are or not.]

 

Dear Mum and Dad,

Life in the UK is good (oh, I learned the difference between ‘England’, ‘Britain’, and ‘the UK’, by the way). More than good; it’s fantastic. My main source of information on Britain having been childhood literature like Robin Hood and Harry Potter, I had some pretty fanciful perceptions which I fully expected to be disappointed. They were not.

Sure, there aren’t wizards flying around on broomsticks (that I know of), but history and culture is positively oozing from every building I see. Before I left Japan, when I would tell people I was going to Bradford, aside from never once failing to have the link between my name and that of my destination pointed out, I certainly received a number of surprised looks from those who’d heard anything more about the city. However, the slight worry that began to stir in me was unfounded. It’s lovely here. As you saw, I couldn’t help but snap loads of pictures as soon as I arrived, and not just because of ingrained Japanese tourist tendencies.

I quickly took the opportunity to do a bit of traveling around West Yorkshire, which only served to confirm my amazement. In addition to modern city features such as malls and museums in Bradford and the nearby Leeds, there’s also wide countryside, rustic villages, massive ruins, the whole gamut. It might just be the faery-tale lenses on my eyes, but I think colours are more vivid here. The sky definitely is; it’s certainly not dreary grey as often as I was led to believe.

Speaking of added colour, since coming here I’ve expanded my vocabulary with words such as ‘rather’, ‘smashing’, ‘cheers’, and ‘yoright’, which basically means, “What’s up?”. I’ve also learned to spell properly, but it seems that I don’t pronounce things quite correctly.

On that front, however, I have had a kind of success. Like many others, before coming, I was guilty of assuming there to be a sort of ‘standard’ accent, like there is in Japan and, to a certain extent, the US. There doesn’t seem to be, or if there is, it’s certainly not to be found in Yorkshire, much less this uni. To the contrary, I’ve been surrounded by a mad swirl of different pronunciations since arriving, but am slowly starting to match accents to regions and cities. Fortunately, I picked up early on that no matter how curious I am to see whether my fledgling instincts are correct, I must never ask, “Is your accent Scottish or Irish?”.

Even though I had very little idea what I’d be studying in my chosen course, “peace studies”, this too has turned out to be excellent. I’m learning so much about, well, everything, and because we’re given a range of essay questions to choose from, I basically get to study what I want. One day I read all about the Chilean coup of 1973, the next day I went from knowing nothing about the British political system to having a much better understanding of it than either the American or Japanese ones. This culminated in getting to sit in on a Parliamentary session in Westminster, which most people would probably find boring but for me was, like all else, enchanting. It was a bit of a struggle towards the end of term to finish all my essays, but I was able to pull through and emerge into the sunlight of five glorious weeks of break.

I had the most amazing Christmas and New Year’s experience because I chose to spend a chunk of that break in London, the mecca of my magical expectations for this island. For twenty days straight I walked the streets, took in the sights, visited museums, and stayed at strangers’ houses thanks to a wonderful travel website called Couchsurfing. Between that, trying out hostels for the first time, and Megabus, I was able to have this entire adventure for quite cheaply; in fact, with my remaining few days of break I did the same with Edinburgh and was blown away, again. I’m absolutely chuffed to be making friends not only at uni but ‘all throughout the land’.

People ask me what my favourite thing in London was, and I suspect they wouldn’t be entirely satisfied with ‘standing amidst broad, old, tall, new buildings with my senses wide open, soaking in the the very spirit of the city itself’. But that’s the truest answer and also a pretty fitting description of my experience in Great Britain in general. It’s exceeded my expectations in virtually every aspect, and often I feel it’s almost unfair that my life should be so good.

I suppose this is what all those hours of teaching English last year really were for. And the complexity of getting academic transcripts and bank statements from both Japan and the US. And the scholarship essays. And the risk of committing three years to a place I’d only seen the website for. Well worth it.

So that’s been my first few months trying to convince the natives how great their country is, and I’m looking forward to what the next semester, and next few years, will unveil.

Love you much, and yes, I’ll try to be on Skype more regularly this year.

-Bradley

Day 1: Making This Christmas The Best Yet

For now, I'm in the lovely town of Bradford...

Today is the first day of December, 2010. The Christmas season is upon on us once again, and as they say, it certainly does feel like it comes faster and faster every year.

This is no issue for me, as I love Christmas. Among other things I love the festivities, family, and food (constant munching, mm!), but probably most of all, I love the romance positively tangible in the air, and with it the thick atmosphere of possibility and adventure.

With that attempt at flowery language and profundity, I approach my point. This Christmas has potential to be my most exciting and fulfilling yet, and I plan to document it every step of the way with this new blog series. Every day I will post my activities and the developments towards this end of capturing everything this holiday has to offer.

Why might this Christmas be so special, you ask? Well, as you may know, I started studying at a uni in England this year, and though I have done a bit of traveling around Yorkshire, I have not yet made it down to the Mecca of my magical notions – London.

This Christmas, I am headed to London to see what I can see, feel what I can feel, and experience everything I’ve heard so much about and imagined to be true. And what better time to do this than the most fantastic season of all?

Here’s where it gets interesting: I don’t yet know where I’ll be staying in London. I don’t have any family in London (though I intend to find a place to be ‘from’), and no friends close enough for me to invite myself over to stay for a few weeks (that I know of). So I and the flatmate I’ll likely be traveling with are looking at the prospect of hopping from hostel to hostel, hopefully with some Couchsurfing hosts thrown in there. (You do know about that website, right?) Throw in the unfortunate reality that, being a poor uni student, my funds are somewhat limited.

It will be an adventure. Possibly the daring-est thing I’ve done, to date, and if you’ve followed me for a while you know that I do do some fairly daring things (at least universal norms have led me to believe so). I have no idea how it will turn out or even what it will look like at any stage, but I intend to make the most of this incredible amount of potential dangled in front of me.

My uni breaks up on the 17th, so the first half of this series will consist mainly of my preparations for the experience, while the second half will be the actual doing of it. My hope is that by holding myself to updating this daily, I’ll be motivated to prepare as much as possible and make it the best time possible. It may even get some people involved that would not have been otherwise. That’d be swell.

I’d love it if you tagged along, shared some insight, and if you’re anywhere near London this Christmas, let’s meet up! If you live in London and have a couch to spare, well, that’d be the awsome-est!

If you can’t tell, I’m more excited about this than I typically get about things. Cannot wait to see what this month will bring.

Hope to see you somewhere along the way!

-Brad

...and the magic has already begun.

No, I Can’t Speak Chinese

[I found this poem and could relate to it a lot so I decided to do my own. Many others have done the same, I believe, so if you’re one of them, wanna share it?

First the real poem, then mine.]

 

Sure You Can Ask Me A Personal Question

Diane Burns, 1989

 

How do you do?

No, I am not Chinese.

No, not Spanish.

No, I am American Indian, Native American.

 

No, not from India.

No, not Apache.

No, not Navajo.

No, not Sioux.

No, we are not extinct.

Yes, Indian.

 

Oh?

So that’s where you got those high cheekbones.

Your great grandmother, huh?

An Indian Princess, huh?

Hair down to there?

Let me guess. Cherokee?

 

Oh, so you’ve had an Indian friend?

That close?

 

Oh, so you’ve had an Indian lover?

That tight?

 

Oh, so you’ve had an Indian servant?

That much?

 

Yeah, it was awful what you guys did to us.

It’s real decent of you to apologize.

No, I don’t know where you can get peyote.

No, I don’t know where you can get Navajo rugs real cheap.

No, I didn’t make this. I bought it at Bloomingdales.

 

Thank you.

I like your hair too.

I don’t know if anyone knows whether or not Cher is really Indian.

No, I didn’t make it rain tonight.

 

Yeah. Uh-huh. Spirituality.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Spirituality. Uh-huh. Mother

Earth. Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Spirituality.

 

No, I didn’t major in archery.

Yeah, a lot of us drink too much.

Some of us can’t drink enough.

 

This ain’t no stoic look. This is my face.

 

 

[So I tried my hand at it, though I overloaded it.]

 

 

Hello. Yeah- I mean, nice to meet you too.

My mommy told me it’s much more polite to say that.

Er, I’m from Japan.

Yeah. No, I’m serious. I decided not to lie this time, for whatever reason.

Consider yourself lucky.

I know, right?

 

Yeah, born and raised.

No, fully American. But I’m about to start lying about that, too.

 

Tokyo. Sort of true – and it’s the only city you know.

Sorry, guys, honest, I didn’t mean to steal the show – again.

 

Yeah, I’m fluent I guess.

Sure. お前日本語分かんねから意味無くね?

Yeah, I thought not.

I said, “I’m speaking Japanese right now.” Ha.

Chinese? No. Yeah, I know you meant Japanese.

No, they’re not too similar.

 

No, I haven’t met them. 12 million people in Tokyo, you know.

No, you don’t have to look for them now to introduce me.

Oh, your friend visited Japan?

Oh, he married a Japanese girl? Lotta foreigners trying to do that. And therefore losers.

 

Yeah, I guess I’m getting asked a lot of the same questions today. Same as

most other days of my life outside of Japan. Or inside.

 

Yeah, I watch some anime. You wouldn’t know it.

Yeah, I’ve seen Naruto.

No, I don’t know it. No…No…Sorry.

No, they don’t have stupid subtitles in Japan.

Yeah, it’s exactly like that in Japan. Everyone looks like them.

You should come. No, you don’t need to learn the language, you don’t even need any money. Just a sword.

 

Yeah, I’m tall in Japan.

They’re getting taller.

 

Yeah, we get video games sooner. You get movies sooner.

 

No, I haven’t had it. I hear whale tastes a lot like chicken.

Have had raw horsemeat.

Dog, no. That’s Korea. Maybe. I might be the stupid white on that one. Hmm.

Yeah, terrible, isn’t it.

 

No, they don’t talk much about World War II.

No, they’re not racist. I’m not going into this with you.

 

Oh, you felt on your business trip that the Japanese had a superiority complex? And you’re basing this on your extensive interaction with and knowledge of the culture?

Sorry to hear that.

You can bet the hell I have a superiority complex.

 

Yes, it’s quite a difficult country. They’re all very polite but don’t speak their mind; they’re also very resistant to change or sticking out. And that’s why I’m being so nice, see? No…no one ever makes the connection.

 

Holes in the ground with pigs at the bottom that eat it? No, Japanese toilets are some of the most advanced in the world.

We were launching 4G phones when you guys were thinking 3G was the next big thing.

 

Yeah, I’m just an American who can speak Japanese.

Yeah, I’m basically a Japanese with an American face.

As you like.

 

Yeah- I mean, nice to meet you too.